Did you ever become satisfied with your body?

I’m 21F 5’6 with a starting weight around 230 lbs, and I’m just again starting my weight loss journey, hopefully for keepsies this time 🤞. I’ve been reading a lot and planning and began my deficit, but looking through the subreddit I’ve been seeing a lot of stuff about loose skin and looking older and… it makes me wonder… Did you ever become satisfied?

Or was there always just something more to improve, or some sort of lasting damage near-impossible to fix? I dream of being fit, of seeing myself as beautiful, of feeling like I can deserve a partner who sees me as beautiful. But will I just keep hating myself? Will I have loose skin that makes me still hate myself? Or will my face look older? Will my face lose its “cute” chubbiness and just become rigid and off?

I know some of these are absurd worries, or something. I want to really believe that my weight loss journey will help me love myself more and make me feel worthy of love. And I know I’ll be healthier either way! But I’m the kind of person who derives a lot of her value from how other people see her. I don’t really care about being healthier. I want to be… Desirable… Or something. Will I ever feel that way?

I guess I’m wondering about y’alls experiences around this. Did you ever feel beautiful, or handsome, or hot? Was it, is it, worth it?

Thank you!

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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1vdb3vk/did_you_ever_become_satisfied_with_your_body/