What to do if I have a lot of anxiety around the gym when I used to love it? I want to get over my fears, but it’s a lot to deal with. Anyone have any advice?

I [22M] used to love going to the gym, and exercising was awesome! Sadly, life got ahead of me in more ways than one, and it really has put a damper on things.

For one, I’ve been really busy with graduate school and trying to keep up with that. I’m often doing a lot during the day, and not really keeping good track of what I eat, especially cause it’s a “when I can and what’s around” basis. I eat horribly because ADHD and I hate sticking to food routines and forget to track what I eat a lot.

Second, I was in a really bad relationship in 2024 that led me to overworking myself in the gym and developing a really severe eating disorder. I dropped 20 lbs (that I ended up gaining back btw) in a month. That person is no longer in my life, but the idea of going back to the gym unsettles me cause it reminds me of when I badly overdid it.

Third, I tried going back some time ago, but the first day someone came up to me, unprompted, without introducing themselves, and started asking about my goals and gave unsolicited advice (that I actually already knew…). She literally came up mid set asked me “what are your goals?” I had my earbuds in and just went “I’m sorry?” And then she went off about how she was watching me and how I should do my cardio after weight training for better results. I…already knew that… I just wanted to walk for a bit to get my heart pumping and clear my head after work. I get she wanted to be nice and helpful, however it was anything but that and it just made me anxious about people watching and criticizing me in the gym, now.

It was already a battle years ago when I first started going, and now you’re telling me that my anxieties were right? People are watching me and thinking I clearly don’t belong or am too stupid to know what I’m doing?

Fourth, even though I used to love it, I still have no idea if I’m even doing enough or too much. Like, what routine do I even follow? How do I even know if it’s working? How should I even follow it before it stops working? How do I know if I’m doing too much or too little? When should I do what? It boggles my mind because nowhere seems to give a consistent answer. I know about some of the routines, what exercises to do for each muscle, what’s good for what… but how do I put all these pieces together in a meaningful way? How do I feel more confident what I’m doing is the right thing?

Lastly, I just feel so weak. I definitely can’t move the weight I used to, and it’s just increasingly demoralizing and disheartening. It’s expected, but damn, I used to be cool. I could move a lot of weight before and now the progress is all gone.

I know this is a lot, but I’ve been having a hard time trying to deal with all of this and I want to go back to doing something I loved and even drop a little weight doing so. Maybe someone with a similar story can help? I just want to get this over with cause I really hate feeling this way.

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