Just wanted to share my story because I can't tell anyone (keeping my weightloss intentions to myself) but I want to celebrate myself.
I (34F) have posted here a few times before. I've tried to lose weight many times by calorie counting and exercise, and it was always the same pattern: I lose 5 kg, am happy, I plateau, I am sad, I eat, I give up, I gain it all back and more. We all probably know this fun ride 🙃
I lost my job in August 24 and fell into a huge depressive hole. In December 24 I decided that I should at least use the copious amounts of time I have and get my shit together. I weighed myself, 86kg. For reference, a healthy weight for me would be around 72kg or less.
So I splurged on a gym membership for 6 months (thank god for healthcare benefits) and started tracking once again. I lost like 4 kg by March 25 and built muscle. It was slow, but it was working. Then, depression hit again. I had to get disability benefits due to my burnout and other conditions making me unfit to start work again, and I felt goddamn awful. One of the lowest points of my life. Still no job. No perspective. Only depression. I stopped tracking and working out.
In June 25, 3 months had passed. I knew I had let myself go and hadn't been kind to my body. So I weighed in. Gained "only" 1.5kgs. And spite hit me. Shit, I thought, I can NOT do this again. I can NOT keep being so negligent with myself. I need to do this now. It may take ages, but it needs to stick.
I wrestled my depressive demons, which was so hard oh my god I have no idea how I got the mental energy to keep going, and started tracking again. Despite it all. Despite the hole I was in and despite starting a job again in November and all the stress and mental breakdowns and despite getting a herniated disc in August 25 which made me literally unable to exercise up until now (yes, almost 4 months of physical therapy).
I weighed myself yesterday. 79.1kg. Lowest I've been in perhaps 10 years, and I checked – it's fat loss, not muscle loss. Cause I actually worked on my muscles to support my back, albeit very gently. And today, my physical therapist told me my back is ready for exercise again and we can start doing a fitness routine starting next week to build my muscle back up. And I'm also slowly finding the confidence in my abilities again professionally.
I just had SUCH a bad year. It sucked so much, my god. And to stand here at the end of it, 7kg lighter despite it all, and knowing I have persevered and kept going again and again for an ENTIRE YEAR is insane to me. I'm so proud of myself. I really am. And I have always struggled with loving myself and giving myself credit, but I am so, so proud of myself for not ending my life, for continuing to fight and work on myself on so many areas in my life – the weight is just the most tangible one since it's literal numbers on a scale. I could have easily given up and let myself go. I did for 3 months. And then I actively told myself to get up and keep going.
Sorry for the long post. I know the weightloss seems like very little, but knowing what was behind it makes it very meaningful for me. 🥲 I'm glad I can at least end the year being proud of myself despite the lack of perspective.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1ph9rh8/its_really_sticking/
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