Just a quick vent.
I’m so exhausted and frustrated and it’s so hard. I’m on the brink of tears laying here in a calorie deficit just feeling so broken by my weight gain and how simple but somehow also impossibly hard it is to be disciplined and lose the weight.
For 6 years I’ve put on more and more weight, telling myself each year I’d lose x number, only to put on even more. I’m up 60lbs now from where I want to be, and it just destroys me. This year I was supposed to lock in, and it’s already almost September and I’ve lost maybe 1 lb. I have no excuses. I’ve had ample resources to accomplish this, and I know how to calculate my deficit and track my burn (which is all it really comes down to). But I just.. eat. I always eat. I almost never stay in a calorie deficit because I’m this stupid weak person that won’t put in the work to improve their situation. Which I know is super negative and self deprecating.
I’m so tired of complaining about an issue that I completely have the power to fix. I am my own worst enemy- and there’s nothing stopping me from losing this weight. If I really dialed in- I could lose this weight in under a year. Maybe even 6 or 7 months if I really ground it out. But I know it’ll take me at least 2 years, maybe longer, IF I ever even get there to lose 60lbs. And I feel so worthless and pathetic.
It is SO simple to lose this weight. Burn more than you take in. And I just. Cannot stay disciplined enough to do it and I want to scream. This weight gain feels like it controls my life, and I’m just- letting it happen. And I wish I could just disappear into the earth right now.
I know someday that this will be small potatoes, to have been so stressed about my weight. But I’ve spent my late 20s heavily overweight, and now I’m 30, and I don’t want to spend my 30s heavy and unhappy and holding myself back from experiences because of all this shame I feel. Why aren’t these feelings enough to just stay on track? Why can’t I just get it together?
Not a very uplifting post, but just. A vent. Had to get these feelings out of my heart, and apparently onto the internet.
Sending my love out to anyone else feeling this way right now.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1n0dr96/its_so_hard_to_lose_the_weight_and_i_want_to/
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