I‘m struggling. Terribly. I‘m 6‘4 and have no idea what I weigh right now.
I was about 210 lbs until the pandemic hit and I started working out and later going to the gym out of boredom and lost about 80lbs and maintained for 3 years.
Then I got in a relationship, went through a very sudden and surprising break up, got on anti depressants and I don’t know, I gained a lot…
I can’t stop thinking that I lost what made me valuable again. I know it’s terrible and unfair on myself to think like that but I just do and I can’t stop it.
I am quite insecure and somehow kinda thought I would meet someone who found me attractive one day and want to be with me, but I am going to be 35 soon and I don’t think this will happen anymore.
When I was 130lbs it was so hard to find someone with good intentions instead of men who told me what I wanted to hear until they got me in bed. Then they changed their minds and weren’t interested anymore. They didn’t even treat me decent anymore after that.
Now no one is looking at me twice. I just hate that I am so insecure but also that it feels like I am only worth something when I am skinny and pretty.
These thoughts have been torturing me lately. Maybe someone on here can relate?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1kpf0l3/self_worth/
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