I lost 77lb and transformed my life. I’m healthier, happier, and am getting much more romantic attention than before. I have also gone through a period of self growth: I am much more confident, less passive and better with putting in boundaries. I have finally realised I don’t need to over give and sacrifice my own needs to be loved and accepted.
Most people in my life are happy for me, except for two who I’ve known for a long time. I get the impression that they are uncomfortable with my successes/changes and feel unhappy and insecure about themselves and where they are at in their lives, so they are lashing out at me. They have both exploded at me, and said very hurtful and abusive things that were extremely unreasonable, disproportionate and unfair.
While those two conflicts have now resolved, at least to the point where we are still in touch etc, I have been noticing lately from both of them, comments to try to cut me down and put me in my place. Eg accusing me of being “anorexic” when my BMI is 23 and perfectly healthy, and I’ve been maintaining this weight for a long time now, so I’m not still losing.
Another comment was the suggestion that someone I was interested in going for romantically was out of my league, which is quite a mean thing to say and based on their opinion only, with zero information about the person I’m interested in’s opinion. I am actually getting some good vibes from this person and don’t believe my friend’s opinion is correct. Even if this person is not romantically interested, I don’t think it would be because they are out of my league. I have plenty to offer to a potential partner, and it seems my friend’s perspective is based on old narratives. I also just don’t see the world in such a hierarchical way, I think it’s based on your personal connection with another person, not just superficial things like their perceived social status.
Also they have been making some other general comments obviously trying to assert dominance or superiority over me/being competitive when we were never competitive with each other before (I am not like that with any of my friends, because I understand that everyone is on their own journeys). I feel like I’m walking on eggshells around these people as they are so critical of me and all I’m doing is trying my best to be a good person and enjoy my life without hurting anyone else. I’m really getting tired of it and I feel drained after spending time with them. I’ve started fading the friendships out, because no matter how long a friendship is, if they can’t be happy for me unless I am below them then I’m starting to think they don’t genuinely care about me like I do for all of my friends.
Anyway I had a look online and this seems to be a very common experience for people who lose a lot of weight. Is it the same for you? And how did you deal with it?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1kvo79z/dealing_with_resentment_from_friends/
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