Hey, I’m 20m and have lost over 100 pounds in the last 3 years. When I first started losing the weight I was really happy with myself, I thought that once I lost 100 pounds I’d love myself, but I don’t. I’m cursed with an overhang belly, saggy boobs, gynocomestia and enlarged areolas. I hate my body but I like my face, it’s really the only thing that has kept me going. As a gay man, physical attraction is important when it comes to dating and just making friends in general. I feel like my loose skin has stopped other men from wanting to be in a relationship with me let alone hookup. Surgery, even in Mexico is expensive and would take me over a year to save up and honestly I don’t know how much of this self hatred I can take. I’ve seriously considered killing myself because of this but I know it would cause so much pain to my family and friends but they just don’t understand. I’ve tried isolating myself but it makes me depressed, I’ve tried putting myself out there but all the rejection makes me depressed.
What really got me though was when I thought I almost had someone like me but they ended up not wanting to commit to me which really took a blow to my self confidence. I’m too scared to kill myself and have honestly hoped that the next time I do molly or coke when raving that it’s laced with fentanyl so I can go out with a bang while having fun at a rave. I’m obsessed with the idea of dying at a rave doing something I love. I always feel good when the drugs are in my system and I’m not thinking about how much I hate my body.
I really crave being lusted over and being desired but I also crave a loving relationship but have honestly given up on that because most guys just don’t like my body. I still try to go to the gym but it’s my self discipline that pulls me back plus I’m always feeling exhausted from work + the gym. I just don’t want to not exist anymore.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1dywhbk/depression_over_loose_skin/
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