Hi everyone, I’m 24f 5’0ft 203lbs. I’m just writing to rant about the last few days and the upcoming days too. I’ve got dinner and drinks booked with my friends tomorrow and they’ve all sorted out their outfits in advance, it’s quite a high end place they’ve booked and I had nothing fancy enough to wear, so I went out to find something, picked loads of things to try on in the changing room - not a single thing fit. I’ve been shopping at that store for years and I know my size well, so was absolutely disheartened - that store I probably can’t shop at anymore because I don’t fit into their largest available size. I looked in the mirror and all my blubber was escaping - i felt like a sausage in sausage casing and I really hated myself and my body in those few moments.
I then went to the local plus size shop instead and bought a dress - it was too expensive but the only thing I could find that was passable. It’s hard because the plus size shop caters to older women, so I couldn’t find anything with a sexy twist, whereas my (slim) friends are wearing bralettes and mini skirts and crop tops- I’m effectively in a shiny plastic bag. Also why is plus size clothing made as if everyone’s who is plus size is super tall? I’m fat and short and can’t find anything anywhere usually - I don’t fit into regular clothes because I’m too wide but the plus size clothing is too long most of the time!! I’m so conscious that at the meal I’m going to be the fat friend and I know that they’ll take loads of photos - and I’ll hate every single one.
To top it all off, I hadn’t spoken to my mother in law for a while - so me and my SO rang her (showing her our new puppy) and we were like look you’re a a grandma! She thought we hadn’t spoken to her for a while because she thought I was busy giving birth and we’d kept the pregnancy from her. I was not pregnant, but she must’ve thought it when she saw me a few months ago.
I’m also meeting my coworkers for the first time at the Christmas party next month (I work from home 5 hours away from them but was invited to go down) I’m tempted to not go because I’m frightened that after just seeing me shoulders above, they’ll be bitterly disappointed seeing that I’m a beast.
I know it’s sad and I try and convince myself that I’m losing weight to be healthier and stronger and to feel lighter - and I am, but tbh, aesthetics are the main reason - I feel ugly all the time.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/z48rj6/sad_about_christmas/
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