[Meta] this is a support group, but we must put things into healthy perspective instead of feeding OP toxic thoughts

I've always wanted to make this post, but I decided to wait until no one wrote such posts because I don't want mine to be directed at a certain person.

The thing I noticed is, many times OP will have such a weird and wrapped view of others, and instead of pointing out what could have been actually happening, everyone jumps and validates OP saying others are just "jealous" and "not real friend/family/partner" or OP should "cut toxic people out"

An example is when OP loses weight, make a post about how their family is concerned because of their weight loss. OP says this makes no sense as no one told them this when they were fatter. Everyone in the comment says it's jealousy. The truth is, when someone is fat their whole life if they suddenly lose weight, I would say it would be weirder if their loved ones were not concerned. Losing weight is hard and if you were fat all your life and suddenly lost it (even if this sudden was over one or two years, it's still sudden compared to being fat all your life). It could be healthy dieting, yes, but it also could be an undetected illness, cancer, eating disorder, being too stressed ..etc. acting like showing concern is always from "jealousy" and that OP should "put them in their place" is frankly toxic advice and I can't believe how many times I saw it upvoted.. OP could simply thank the person for their concern and tell them they achieved this weight through healthy means but no, OP decides to attack these people instead

Another example at the other end of the spectrum is when OP "rants" because their family compliments them in their weight loss. This is such a weird thing to do. OP could simply say "thank you" like a normal person and move on. Instead, OP is angry because the family must have always thought OP is ugly but never said it (not true) or they like OP better now that they're thinner (not true) or some other wrapped perspectives. Instead of reassuring OP and putting things in perspective for them, like how they might do it because they're impressed with OPs dedication or confidence or working on their health or bettering themselves, the comments are usually skewed towards weird out of context concepts like "pretty privilege" and society (which doesn't make sense when we're talking about your friends, who loved you even before you got thin, not random strangers) or some other equally weird comments

tl;dr: this is a support group. But we should help put things in perspective sometimes when OP fails to do so. Your loved ones being concerned over your weight loss is normal and saying things like "cut them out of your life" or "you need better friends" is toxic. Similarly, people being happy for you should be answered with "thank you". Because they might be genuinely happy or saying this out of politeness so don't misinterpret their intentions to suit your ego.

submitted by /u/gakusha-baka
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/syi8l4/meta_this_is_a_support_group_but_we_must_put/