I've lost 22kg(48pounds) 7 years ago. The next two years were the best, I was eating mindfully, wasn't restricting myself at all, and kept a very healthy weight both on the scale and in terms of how I felt in my body and also my relationship with food was entirely healed - which was the most important thing. Yes, I still had some insecurities but really loved myself. However, after 3 years I went to work abroad and gained weight. I came back and lost it. Then I went to work again, this time it was a lot more stressful, at the same time I had troubles with the university, then gained the weight back. Came back home, took a break from everything, lost weight again, started working out again and eating well, and I started feeling okay with my body. In the process, I stopped looking at how I look outside and focused more internally, started doing yoga which helped, and stopped forcing myself to work out so hard but instead was more gentle with my body. At the same time, I was finishing with uni, started work and applied for a master's, and got back to my emotional eating habits. I gained the weight back. It's been almost a year since then, and I still haven't lost the gained weight. In the meantime, I started doing more endurance because I got tired of the weight training. It's helping me mentally but I still feel like I look awful. At this point, I feel like I ruined my body. This was all in the range of 10kg which for some may not be a big deal and I know I should be grateful that I still have the chance to change but I am so tired. I am scared that with every life change I will gain weight and then take months for me to lose it again. It is just taking so much out of my life force, and time.
I am losing hope that I will ever get back to that same place I once was. Both mentally and physically.
I suppose I am not the only one in this, so any comments, reflections, advice is very welcome and needed. Thank you in any case.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/sw6fwv/i_am_sick_and_tired_of_the_unpredictability_of/
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