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Okay so TW:( mention of SA) I know that doesn’t seem to matter but hear me out. Around 2016 ish I had had lost a significant amount of weight when I was in school. And afterwards had a SA happen to me. After that I started binging my comfort food ice cream eating atleast a gallon or half a day plus other candy. And gained all the weight back plus more from OG weight. Getting to 280 over the course of the next few years. When my starting had been 230.
Now in the past year and a half I finally was able to process stuff and Lose weight again getting to almost the weight I lost before (166 lbs) now averaging 188 lbs. But now another SA/SH happened to me in a park all alone. And that happened last month. And I’m literally repeating the same pattern of binging ice cream and other stuff. And I already went from the average 188 lbs to 203lbs or more. (Haven’t Checked my weight in the past week probably more.) I know it’s not a lot but I don’t want to repeat literally the same thing and feel lost and hopeless again :( Right before I posted this I just ate half a box of ice cream I didn’t finish yesterday and it’s only 6 am.
Also to add: I don’t have insurance for a therapist or whatever I would probably need for this cause I fall into a ‘‘Gap‘‘ and don’t qualify for government assistance to be able to afford it. So I can’t deal with this properly with a doctor. I’m lost to what to do cause I try to eat a total of 2000–2100 Calories a day to lose weight cause if I weight lift with it I lose body fat pretty quickly. But I’m probably eating 3500–6000 calories in total a day depending. Which is excessive constant calorie amount for almost the past month.
Please I need some tips cause I feel like subconsciously, I’m sabotaging myself to ‘‘protect myself‘‘ from another event from happening cause I usually get left alone from strangers when I’m at a higher weight. And it’s hard to tell myself I’m safe cause that was in park a 3 minutes walk from my home. So I don’t walk around anymore to say the least.
Any tips of how to stop self sabotaging Would be much appreciated.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/rs14yt/weight_gain_after_significant_negative_event/
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