I feel just awful about myself . I just want to vent real fast cuz my family is sick and tired of me crying about the same damn thing . My appearance has ruined my life I am not talking about being a little bit chunky no no no . I was 330 pounds 2 years ago I am now somewhere around 240 but at my lowest 210 . The way I lost the weight was basically through starvation for a year due to severe depression. So now that im not as depressed naturally im back to my old ways and gained back 30 pounds ! That makes me feel just awful . I was serious about exercise for about 2 months doing it every single day only having a "bad cheat meal" once a week .Stupid me didnt check the scale the whole time so I have no idea if that worked and I ruined it by having a sugar binge off and on for 2 months after I was good for 2 months . My weight didnt budge still around 240 so discouraging so I stopped working out . I want to do it again but im so burnt out I havent done anything since.
Sugar just makes me feel good and when I feel bad about myself or my life it makes me feel good for like a minute but then I feel so guilty but I cant stop .I will eat all the sugar in the house if we keep it in the house .I wont just have one brownie I will have half the tray! I try to socialize online and while I admit the pics I take dont look like 240 pounds . I angle it closer to my face so it dont look as wide and fat .My friends think im just over reacting and a little "chubby" I am not im obese but I cant tell them that. Just the way the fat hangs on my body feels bad .im laying down and I just feel my fat rolls on my back touch and it feels disgusting .My mom and sister are similar weight to me but they have better proportions and dont look near as bad making me feel worse . My dad who was so proud I lost weight calls me to see how my progress is I havent called him back cuz im ashamed im binging again . I am sorry for this long negative post I just needed to get it out in a community that understands the struggle.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/r5n79s/i_feel_like_a_fraud_and_i_feel_disgusting_long/
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