I just found this wonderful community a couple of days ago, and I am so happy I did. To read through everyone’s stories and advice makes my health journey feel much less alone. My partner is an extremely healthy guy with amazing eating habits so it’s hard to confide in him lol. I wanted to see if anyone can relate to my story and if they have any tips for me, or maybe just to vent, either way I’m happy.
I grew up with parents that taught me to have the WORST relationship with food. Of course I love my mom and dad but, sometimes I feel a bit resentful at what they (unintentionally) taught me. Growing up, we ate takeout multiple times a week, my mom constantly went on crash diets and encouraged me to do them with her, and I probably have the worst taste in food now because I wasn’t really introduced to much as a kid (I don’t like sauces, I don’t eat fish or shellfish, the veggies and fruits I like are very limited etc.)
I would constantly sneak food and just binge on anything I could get my hands on because food became such a comfort for me, all my problems went away once I sneaked a bowl of cake mix and a bit of water into my room (sounds gross but I swear it’s amazing). My mom was also an avid Diet Coke drinker so now I consume at least 2 per day as well. I was about 180 pounds at 14 and I felt terrible. I think people are beautiful at any size but truth be told, I was so unhealthy and I knew continuing the way I was I would end up with serious health conditions (I have lots of heart problems/weight related problems that run in my family). So I did what I knew best, I went from one extreme to the other and I basically stopped eating for two months. I lost roughly 80 pounds in just over two months. I never ate and only did eat a little with my family at dinner but at school I wouldn’t go near food. When my mom noticed, instead of helping me in an positive way, she scolded me and weighed me everyday. The experience was traumatic.
Anyways, I was down to 100 pounds at 16. And ever since (I am 20 now) I have bounced back and forth between being 20 pounds underweight, and 50 pounds over weight which has screwed up my metabolism. Currently I am on the overweight side at about 145 (I am short as well, about 5’2) and I am not sure how to fix my relationship with food. I think the simple answer is some form of therapy but no way I can afford that lol.
Thanks for letting me vent, I am super determined to take smaller steps to better my health and I am glad I found this community to help.
Edit: can you tell I love using commas incorrectly? One day I’ll learn lol
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/o9ixjg/my_terrible_relationship_with_food/
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