Now im about 45lbs from my goal weight, M14 SW260, GW190, CW235. So I figured that I would share why I lost weight and am currently losing weight. I have a couple of reasons, the least important of which would be for vanity and to get a girlfriend. But the biggest reason would be to release my emotional turmoil and pain that surrounds my weight. Ive always been the big kid in school, I weighed 190lbs in 3rd grade and didn't aknowledge my weight until some time later. It wasn't until about 5th grade or 6th grade when I became truly self aware and very looks concious about myself. There is just that feeling of constant sadness and having to hide behind the mask of being the funny fat kid that isn't actually funny and is just annoying. I could handle the bullying and the teasing because to me it wasn't the words that were said that hurt because when I was called a fat ass or fat fuck it was just confirming something I already knew. But the words that went un spoken hurt the most, the fear that the people who don't bully or tease you are calling you a fat slob in their head and you don't know it. My way to prevent this was to be extremely nice or to be so vocally hateful to myself about my weight around other people that they wouldn't have a reason to think that about me. And in reality it just made me look like a douche bag, I was and still am so sad and unhappy that the only thing keeping me going on this weight loss is the constant self hate and insecurities that drive me in everything I do. And that light at the end of the tunnel gets a little brighter everyday.
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/j2f9rv/why_i_lost_weight/
Comments
Post a Comment