I have been trying to lose weight for years and have only gained because of inconsistent I am with it (ADHD is a huge aspect of it), but this time, I managed to excercise five times a week, for 20-30 mins every morning, alternating strenght training and HIIT (I started with normal cardio and worked up to it). My weight hasn't really changed so far, in fact, I gained a little bit, but I feel firmer and more energised and motivated to keep going. It will come off eventually... I hope. Anyways, I was talking to my mom, and told her proudly of my one month achievement. The problem is, my mom has always been obsessed with my weight! She has a very unhealthy relationship with food and panics if she gains a gram on the scale. She has a great figure and is definitely following a healthier approach now, but mentally she is still quite hung up on looking perfect, and wants me to look perfect; to the point she has offered me liposuctions and breast augmentations in the past.
Since I was ten or so, she has always told me I was getting fat, even though I know now that I was a very healthy weight. Now she has the nerve to tell me I used to have a great figure at 16 and should aim to go back to that, when I remember clearly that at 16 she used to starve me and tell me that I need to lose weight! The way she talks is as if she's embarassed by my weight and it always made me feel unloved (couple that with traumatic childhood of sexual and physical abuse).
I guess I was hoping for some encouragement when I told her about my new routine... she started telling me what I'm doing is not enough to lose weight, I need to do at least 1hr a day and then go for a walk for another hour, and I should drink a diet shake for lunch and blablabla. Just felt like shit afterwards, but I really don't want this to get to my head.
I want to do this for myself. I am currently 29yrs old and at 80/81 kg... I want to go down to 58/60 and be able to stay on it. I want to be healthy overall and so I am working on finding a system that I will be able to carry on long term this time, and that will make me feel good, not just skinny.
I just wrote this to feel better... I'm sure some people can relate :/
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ijap2u/made_the_mistake_of_sharing_weightloss_journey/
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