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Officially back to my starting weight and feel terrible

Well, it's official, I've gained back 45lbs... again...

I can't figure out how I let it happen. I mean... I know exactly HOW it happened. I ate too damn much. What I can't figure out is WHY? For context, I lost 45lbs in 2016, gained it all back by November of 2017, lost it again by the spring of 2018, and kept it off for well over a year!! But then... Halloween of 2019, I took a cheat day. I had taken numerous cheat days over that year and a half I'd been at GW, and always gotten back to maintenance within at most two weeks. But for whatever reason, that time... it stuck.

I guess it was just a loss of motivation? Didn't weigh myself nearly as often, and just... kept ignoring it. I was embarrassed, I guess. I AM embarrassed. Like... to the point where I STILL haven't really bought any new fat clothes because I don't want to admit to myself I need them.... AND I NEEEEED THEM.

I was able to do the things I needed to do for nearly 2 years, and for whatever reason... starting again is so much harder this time... I guess I just needed to vent. I'm sorry about the pity party. Any encouragement would be very helpful. For those who have cycled... any words of advise would be very appreciated.

submitted by /u/makoeyedsoldier
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/i0z2yr/officially_back_to_my_starting_weight_and_feel/

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