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Struggle bus and know it is mental

I (30f) have been overweight most if not all of my life. I have fluctuated a lot. Been all the way to 270lbs and as low as 180lbs depending during my adult life. Most of the time it has been over at least 200lbs. Over the last two years I have stayed between 210 and 225. Just yo-yoing back and forth but never being able to actually get on a roll. In the last two weeks I went from 222 to 214 back to 222 and tomorrow’s weight is more than likely going to be closer to 225. I get on rolls where I lose weight and I am in a good headspace then one day is bad and it is all out the window. I just start eating like crazy and gain it all back.

I know this is a mental issue. I know this is about flipping a switch and working my butt off. I know that I can do this if I really put my mind to it. But for some reason I am scared. I am sabotaging myself. I am afraid to try because if I fail then what’s the point. But I am failing each and every time I am not eating right or taking care of my body as I should be.

I want kids someday. I want to be able to run with them. Be active. Show them a healthy lifestyle. I want to play in the yard. I want to run with my dog right now! I want to be active with my husband. I want to start playing sports again. This is my start. I am going to do my best to keep myself mentally strong and if I have one bad day it doesn’t become a bad week or month.

If you have made it this far, thank you for listening. I appreciate this community because it seems like others have accomplished amazing things. I want to be just a small fraction of that. Have a great week everyone.

submitted by /u/kelanis12
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/guaus5/struggle_bus_and_know_it_is_mental/

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