So I’ve always been on the chubby side my whole life. I’ve gotten all the nicknames and I guess I’ve gotten really good at faking confidence even though on the inside I just feel like a fat pos. My cousin has always been skinnier than me and it didn’t really bother me but in my household one of the first things people do when they greet you is comment on your weight and I just got so used to being called fat and compared to him that it’s been a sore spot for me.
Fast forward a bit, my girlfriend and I are both on the bigger side. I know she is super self conscious about her weight (especially since all her friends are very thin) and I have always been as great as I could be to let her know she is beautiful because she really is and she tries so hard with diets and working out. She knows I’m very self conscious about my weight too but I always brush it off and pretend to be confident about it. So today she saw an Instagram picture of my cousin and I and said something along the lines of it i saw this picture “I probably wouldn’t go for you, I would think your cousin is cuter” or something like that. I said yeah I get that he’s always been skinnier and we kind of just brushed past it but it’s really been bothering me. I guess with time I’ve kind of stopped comparing myself to him but with that single comment she brought it all back. It’s a toxic mindset to have but idk what to do to get it out of my head. I have been working out almost every day since the beginning of this quarantine and have controlled my diet but all that kind of seems pointless. I get that it’s not, it’s just all the confidence I gained from the past few weeks just disappeared. But yeah that’s it. Thank you for reading if you did!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gucvh4/a_real_blow_to_my_confidence/
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