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I reached nearly 245lbs. One more and I’m done.

I’m 5’7, I weight 245lbs. I look like a swamp monster and yes, I let myself go that much. By the beginning of the lockdown I was about maybe 230lbs. My pants are tighter, my back fat grew huge, the double chin is back. I feel disgusted, disappointed and very down about myself. All I do is I work from home, eat 3 meals a day and I when I’m bored I eat. I know how to eat well (veggies, proteins, less carbs) but I feel so low I have no motivation whatsoever. Like I can’t even get that ugly, cellullite, fat, square ass off of the couch and workout. I’m also ashamed of working out at home because I live with my boyfriend. He’s unbothered by my weight but I can see that it’s not what he likes best. I wanna do it for me but for him too. I want him to adore my body, I don’t want it to be a sad necessity. He loves me whole but you know how it works. Truth is, I was almost near to 200lbs half a year ago. I’m tired of going back and forth, I feel trapped. My goal is to weight at least half of that, and get rid of that disgusting back fat. I don’t even mind that I have cow udders for breasts. I don’t even mind my ugly, stretch marked jelly stomach or huge rubbing thighs. Or arms flabby enough to allow me to fly if I wasn’t that fat. I hate that body. I want to change it, but I don’t even know where to start. Can I get some help?

submitted by /u/cloudberry_girl
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ga656n/i_reached_nearly_245lbs_one_more_and_im_done/

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