Hello! :) I plan on doing keto starting January first, and I know I can do it. This year I want to push myself further to lose the weight. I have everything together except my mental health..

I’ve done keto before for almost a month and lost about 20 lbs but eventually gave in to my addiction of sugar again. I’m more prepared now and I’m ready to tackle my weight again. The thing is, I can’t look at myself in body mirrors without wanting to cry. I have seen old photos of when I had my ED in full force and wasn’t overweight. I had a nice jaw line. Now it’s all blubber. I went from one end to another from gaining 60 lbs in half a year due to stress eating. I went into adoption and got adopted and that started it all. Oh my god. It hurts to think about it. I want to do this, and I will. I’m just so scared that I will look like shit afterwards and my body won’t be attractive at all etc. I will need surgeries. I already plan on getting breast implants and excess skin removal when I’m atleast 20. I’m 16 right now. It sucks so much to be obese and have stretch marks the size of 6 inches on my stomach. I hate the fact that if I want to be healthy again I have to go through the trouble again and will probably end up relapsing into Ana.

I’m sorry for my health rant. I just hope you all know it’s not just about the health of your body. I want a healthy mind and I can’t have it yet. I bawl. This might not be the right place but I needed to get this off my chest. I hate myself. I hate the fact that my 14 year old self thought I was fat when I wasn’t near that at all. And now I’m obese. My bio mom has made fun of my body when she seen it because she said I looked like I gave birth to a newborn.

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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/ehkasc/hello_i_plan_on_doing_keto_starting_january_first/