A while back I managed to go from 360 Lbs to 265 pounds through diet, exercise, the side effects of a medication I was taking, and trauma. I was pleased to have dropped weight, but I didn't get any of the "benefits" of weight loss. No more energy, no feeling better, no anything positive. I just felt cold. All the time cold. Still, I kept it off for as long as I could, which wasn't very long at all. Soon, I returned to 330 before trying again with diet and exercise. I'm back down to 315 now. I go to the gym 5 days a week, I eat healthier, but I hate every moment of it.
"Do activities you like at the gym!" They don't have activities I like at the gym. .
"Think about how much you're enjoying your food!" I'm not enjoying my food. The foods I enjoy aren't healthy for me/good for weight loss. The foods I'm eating now make me desperately crave the foods I used to eat, more and more with every meal.
"Make it into a competition!" I don't like competition.
"Think about how much better you'll feel!" I haven't felt better for exercising.
"Exercise makes you feel better!" The only reason I feel better is because I'm not longer at the gym/exercising.
"Once you go for a while, you'll love it!" In the past I've gone for 1.5 years and never learned to like it. When I stopped I didn't miss it.
"Find your motivation to do it!" In 34 years (since I became fat) I've never found an internal reason to. It feels like it's all lies and gaslighting. The benefits of weight loss, diet and exercise only seems to come socially. People think I look better, so they begin to treat me like a person.
I go to the gym and eat a healthier diet now because I'm trying to build my own self-love, and these seem like the ways to do it. Take care of myself better and ensure a healthier, longer life. At the same time though, I'm hating every moment of it.
I hate everything about the gym. I hate the prepping for it. I hate the drive over and the time it takes from doing things I'd rather be doing. I hate working on the machines, lifting weights, and doing cardio. I hate the thick, warm, sweaty air of the place. I hate how God awfully boring it is. I hate that I'm surrounded by beautiful women that make me feel like a creep for noticing that I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I hate having to shower immediately after, or risk breaking into hives from my own sweat.
I hate having to meal prep. I hate having to eat small portions. I hate having to eat so many vegetables, so much protein, and so little dairy, fruit or carbohydrates. I hate having to try to drink a gallon of water a day.
"I just think if you enjoyed these things you'd be more likely to stick with it." I agree, but I don't enjoy these things.
"You just need to change your mindset." You're probably right. If I knew how to do that, I probably wouldn't ever have gotten this big.
People make well meaning suggestions, or comments about my weight, sometimes out of concern, sometimes out of malice. In both cases I just want to curse them out.
Still, I go 5 days a week and eat mostly salad and protein. It's good for me. It's taking my medicine. The medicine tastes awful, but I do it anyway.
ANY help or suggestions for this would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1drv1xq/help_me_fix_it_weight_loss_sucks/
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