Starting at 125 kg (275lbs), today I am 117.8kg. It’s not a lot, but it’s still meaningful, for the first time I’ve actually achieved losing some weight by being intentional about it and actually trying. The first month I lost like 6 kg from 125 to about 119, I guess a lot of it was water weight as people say.
117 is significant because for ages I was stuck at 119, and every day this week I would weigh myself and think why is is not going down?
The fact that the matter is, it’s just simple numbers. The last few weeks I was eating at 1800 cal and actually finding myself to be surprisingly full. Previously, I would easily be able to eat two plates of spaghetti bolognese, or three pieces of chicken and lots of rice and salad. But now I get full after just two pieces of chicken by themselves or one plate of spaghetti bolognese. Just controlling the portion size has helped, cutting out all sugar except for tea has helped, no biscuits or junk, and counting and tracking calories has helped, and when I want a snack switching to baked crisps instead of normal crisps has helped, and in our culture we use a lot of oil for cooking and I realised all that oil was ending up in our food and it has so many calories, so I’ve cut out all oil and using the air fryer as much as possible, if I have to cook with oil I literally pour it into a teaspoon and to control the amount of oil.
My whole life, I never loved myself. That became even more apparent towards the end of my marriage, which ended in January.
In the past whenever I tried exercising or losing weight it was always out of self loathing self hatred or disappointment in myself, and it never stuck. And then as I failed, I hated myself even more. Hating my body image I hated the fact that I can’t wear clothes I hate the fact that I have man boobs I hate the fact that when I look in the mirror I just despise what I see, what it represents not just being overweight but all the failures and unattractiveness and character flaws everything that it represents.
It was only after my break up, and coming to God, both independently of each other around the same time though God was a little bit before, that I really started loving myself. When I realised how much God loves me how much I have to be grateful for, and so many other things, I was overwhelmed with love and to me taking care of my body and now loving myself is something that honours God. In some ways though it doesn’t address a problem that I don’t love myself I’m doing it now for God as opposed to really doing it for myself but I am doing it for myself too, but my motivation really by discipline comes from the fact that it’s related to honour and give thanks to him. So I still need therapy to work on loving myself and actually doing things for myself because that hasn’t been addressed yet and as I was typing that I just realise this. Again, I’m not tryna shove God down everyone’s throats but that worked for me so that’s all I’ll say.
Anyway, I’m really looking forward and hopeful for the future. The only thing that I’ve got going in my life right now and I’ve lost so many things this year as well as my wife and it’s been very painful but if I’m gonna lose something else, I want it to be my weight! Hoping to post a progress pic towards the end of the year!
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1jcfi1d/the_scales_moved_its_really_working/
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