CONTEXT: I have ADHD and autism + fatigue problems. I have no willpower. In terms of discipline, I am ape.
I’ve also had to reduce my ADHD meds dose recently because it was making my insomnia much worse, and I’m on antidepressants that are linked with weight gain.
SITUATION:
On Sunday, I weighed myself for the first time this year. I knew I’d put on weight, but since I’ve spent my twenties at around 63kg/140lbs, I was pretty horrified to see 74kg/160lbs pop up.
I’ve been restricting myself to 1400-1500 since then, but it’s been hard. I spent most of yesterday in bed because I just felt so weak and shitty without being able to graze all day. Treats are also a big sensory comfort for me, so the idea of not being able to have my regular indulgences for at least the foreseeable future is making me super sad.
I just don’t know if I have what it takes to be a healthier person. Anything with planning and preparing meals is very overwhelming for me, and with the ‘tism, eating new foods is hard. An ideal meal for me is entirely beige, and I can’t just choke down some vegetables, it would genuinely make me retch. Changing and starting tasks is also super difficult (+no concept of time), so I keep screaming at myself to do something and hours later I literally haven’t moved.
Since about July, I’ve been particularly struggling. I got a kitten, and staying on top of her needs has been more difficult than I expected, leaving me with nothing left in the tank to look after myself. Lots of takeaway and comfort eating and staying in bed playing video games, even tho my apartment needs some major TLC. I WFH 4 days a week, and those days I wouldn’t be astonished if I get less than a thousand steps in. My bf is over twice a week now instead of meeting up in town for a walk about, and at 6ft tall and active, he eats like a horse and also loves a takeaway.
I think living alone is a big part of the problem, having other people around gives me so much more energy and life, but it is what it is for now at least.
I don’t really know what I’m looking for by posting this. Hope? Maybe even just venting, idk, I’m not in a good place rn.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1hayp2x/ultimate_couch_potato_30f_finally_got_punished/
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