I really really hate my body and I do not know what to do. Am not fat or ugly but there are some things which are beyond my controlled.
Am born in a big family where everyone is tall and muscular except me. I got 5 brothers, 1 sister and 20 cousins.
All my siblings & cousins are taller and stronger than me and it has always been that way even when am the eldest of them all.
Am born with a heart condition which substantially limited my endurance and stamina and I always hated it how I was not at least equal to my class mates when I was in school, how I could not run, climb and how i get tired so easily.
My height stopped at 165 when i was 15 and never really grow from there meanwhile all my cousins who are younger than me has started growing taller and taller and now am the shortest one. Even my own little sister who is 7 years younger than me is taller than me.
I am 38 and am started blading and then i realize am not really doing anything to improve myself cause I really hate my body to bother with anything.
Every time I try to do something to improve, there is this feeling like why even bother, its not a good body anyway it does not matter, no matter what I do I cant be taller, or have more endurance.
No one is body shaming me or never did, its just me who hate it. I know its be but I cant help it, i just hate it.
Edit:
It has come to a point where I cant enjoy any TV shows or anime or cartoons or movies where characters are being played by taller people or being portrayed by strong men who can move a mountain so I have limited myself to slap stick comedy.
I hate games where the player is tall strong man as I cant relate to him.
Am unable to enjoy media or games or anything really. This hatred is eating me from the inside.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1hdy9jj/i_really_really_hate_my_body_and_i_do_not_know/
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