This post will probably come off as a self-pitying vent because it most likely is. For the record, I’m 168 cm and currently weigh 92 kg. Back in 2021, I was sitting at the exact same weight when I decided I needed to shed the excess, and I did it! By the end of the year I managed to hit my 75 kg milestone and I was ecstatic. My sense of self-worth skyrocketed, I’m a very active person so my weight loss highly reflected on my athletic performance. Unburdened by the sense of inadequacy, I focused on multiple interests and I generally maintained a healthy life balance.
This past year and a half has seen me go through some major life changes: I found my first stable job (where I’m working 24-hour shifts at a very demanding environment), I got into a relationship (dating involves a lot of eating and drinking for the better or worse), moved together with said relationship, started a new language from scratch so I can eventually move abroad (already at a C level due to very intensive classes), all that jazz. As a consequence, I’ve gained back every single pound I managed to lose three years ago. This has, of course, brought back all the feelings of inadequacy with a vengeance.
I’m currently in the midst of yet another attempt to lose weight, but I struggle to enter the same mindset as my previous, successful attempt. I have regular appointments with a nutritionist (the same one that guided me through my previous weight loss journey), I’ve downloaded a calorie tracking app and try to walk every distance up to 5 km. I even regularly enter 5-10Ks, which I pull off without breaking much of a sweat. I’m a very indulgent person, and extremely prone to hyperphagic episodes that negate all my previous efforts, because eventually, I can’t maintain a caloric deficit. I’m also quite impatient and deep down I believe that I’ll lose the excess weight overnight, when that’s clearly not the case. My mental health has plummeted as a result (I do have chronic depression and this current relapse has been quite challenging). I can’t help feeling like a failure for having gained the weight back even though, rationally, I’m perfectly aware that every process has challenges and fluctuations.
How do I navigate this feeling of helplessness?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1gcern7/struggling_to_find_the_motivation/
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