Once upon a time, in the land of Meal Prep and Calorie Counting, I was a fierce and determined warrior—battling my way through the Whole Foods Forest, armed with my restricted-calorie sword and shield. Each day was a test of endurance, where I fought off the temptations of sugary demons and processed food goblins.
But alas, today was no ordinary time. The dreaded monthly monster, known to some as “Aunt Flo,” had arrived (for the first time in 6 months)!. She was a cruel beast, draining my energy, messing with my moods, and making the Whole Foods Forest seem less appealing than ever before (in fact, making all foods seem less appealing than before). I was a warrior, yes, but even the mightiest of warriors have their weak moments, and today was definitely one of those moments.
My loving partner, who had been watching me struggle from the sidelines, decided it was time to swoop in with a grand gesture. He hopped into his trusty steed (a well-loved but reliable Toyota) and ventured forth to the lair of the almighty golden arches—a place spoken of in hushed tones by those who have strayed from the path of grilled chicken and broccoli.
He returned, triumphant, holding a brown bag that carried the unmistakable scent of forbidden delights. I knew what it was even before I opened it—the siren song of crispy fries, the seduction of a burger with that juicy 100% NZ beef, and the sweet, sweet allure of a fizzy drink (diet of course).
In a moment of weakness (or maybe it was bravery?), I abandoned the Whole Foods Forest and indulged in the offerings of the golden arches. Bite after bite, I was filled with a strange mixture of pleasure and guilt. This wasn’t just any burger; it was a nostalgic taste of a past life, where calories didn’t matter, and processed food goblins were mere myths.
But as the last morsel of burger disappeared into the abyss of my stomach, a dark cloud began to loom over me. The once mighty warrior now felt... defeated. The golden arches had won this battle, but at what cost? My stomach began to churn, my energy plummeted, and I realized that the golden arches were not the benevolent gods I once thought—they were tricksters, leading me down a path of bloating and regret (purely physical).
As I lay on the couch, wallowing in the ache of my stomach and swearing allegiance once again to the Whole Foods Forest, I couldn’t help but laugh. It was a lesson learned the hard way, but a lesson nonetheless. The golden arches may have had their moment of victory, but I will rise again—stronger, wiser, and with a newfound resolve to stick to the Whole Foods Forest.
But maybe... just maybe... I’ll keep some minced beef in the freezer to make my own burger patties for emergencies. After all, even warriors need a little indulgence now and then ;)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1ev49y4/a_fast_food_betrayal/
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