I suffer from mental illness and I was always fat due to emotional eating. Exact one year ago I started losing weight for stupid reasons. I realized everyone in charge at my summer job was thin and good looking and I should lose weight if I aspired to be like them. I also had this compulsive thought that if I would lose weight God would give me a husband. I don’t really care about my health and I’m down 50 lbs; I just don’t feel as happy as I should. I don’t even know how much weight to lose. It’s just become this compulsive thing almost. Gamified weight loss as if it’ll fix my life but I know that weight loss can’t cure mental illness nor make you love yourself if you don’t. I do love myself which is why all these feelings are confusing.
I have resentful feelings because I don’t feel like my life has improved enough for me to care about getting fit. My circle of loved ones (except for my family) seldom tell me wow you lost a lotta weight, looking good! Which is funny because I know most people don’t want that and I actually think that rhetoric is bad. I also don’t experience that people treat me better. Some pain issues in my feet and back have significantly improved but I just don’t care because I dealt with them when I was larger and idk that giving up Pizza Hut is worth that. I walk 10,000 steps a day and have been consistently going to the gym but I hate it and have never felt endorphins or my depression improve, even with a trainer. I still don’t have a partner and I resent that the most. Being single is the biggest thing I hate in my life. All I know is that I objectively look better to the masses and that’s nice but I just don’t sincerely feel the benefits of losing weight and being healthy; I want to!
I appreciate my weight loss but I really would love to exercise and be healthy for positive reasons and I’m just wondering if anyone has suggestions on how to switch my mindset from this dark place to a healthy one where I do this for my wellbeing. I’m terrified that my reasons for doing this are not sustainable, especially because I’m going through a difficult mental health episode right now and I don’t want to relapse back into emotional eating and getting fat again.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/1e4j722/any_resources_for_changing_unhealthy_mindset/
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