In the past, I have engaged in unhealthy eating behaviors that made my body very unhealthy. I am now obese, F, 5'4'', 200lbs. It is painful to be this way and I don't like it.
If I am not trying to lose weight, I usually eat close to maintenance calories, or somewhat more than maintenance to the point where I steadily gain weight at about 4lbs per month.
This adds up.
My health is suffering, and I'm trying to get into a calorie deficit. While I am trying to get into a deficit, however, I have been coming up against something in my mind. the more I try to lose weight, the worse this gets.
When I first started calorie counting, I tried Noom. I gained weight while doing Noom, and it was really frustrating, so I quit. I could not manage to keep my calories low enough in a day to lose weight, and no matter how much I kept with the program, it didn't get better. I tried elimination diets, short term paleo diets, etc. I have thyroid issues and felt exhausted. Diets usually started out ok, and I dropped water weight, but after that I would become lethargic and have to overeat again. I'm pretty sure I'm euthyroid now, with balanced hormones, and I'm trying to lose weight again, but I think my body is terrified of weight loss. So I eat more when I'm actively trying to count calories than I do when I'm not counting calories.
I just ate 3,200 calories today. I had a goal of eating 1700, or at least sticking to maintenance, as a way to kind of be gentle to my body. I did also do more activity today than normal. It's only 5pm or so. I'm not sure what to do. I feel like throwing in the towel again. I feel endlessly hungry right now because I'm starting a diet. I'm not sure if I have the willpower to even start a diet, and I don't know what to do about that. I wonder how to get the willpower I need to succeed.
I have access to lots of fruits and vegetables and meats and delicious and nutritious foods in the country I'm currently living in, but I keep overeating everything all of the time and I don't know how to stop. It turns into a situation where I'm aware how many calories I'm eating, and that makes me feel like overeating, so I overeat, and then I just feel horrible about how much I have overeaten, and I can't bring it under what I'd like it to be for anything. I'm being dragged kicking and screaming by my own brain and I feel like a slave to my cravings. Is there any escape? Any ideas? I can't lose weight if I don't pay attention to what I'm eating, but when I know what I'm eating the overeating gets so much worse than ever. I just don't know what to do.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/19crj14/my_brain_seems_terrified_of_weight_loss/
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