I've been losing weight slowly for a year now. Last year I just started to follow a food routine where I'd have breakfast, lunch and then nothing after 5-6pm. I didn't do this as some magical "this will help me lose weight!!" delusion. I had been working at a job where I didnt have time to eat at night and I kept that up because it helped me avoid binge eating.
I've lost 12kg since last year and I didn't really start working out until 3 months ago. I increased my protein intake during this time because it was otherwise difficult for me to exercise.
issue is I haven't been able to workout consistently the past 4 weeks. I would make up around 5am, have breakfast and exercise before work. Eventually this routine made me sick and I didnt have the energy to exercise. I didnt lose weight this month, I just maintained my weight.
Not exercising makes me feel like shit. Specifically strength training. A major reason for me starting workouts was that it helped me feel less depressed. It was like this one thing that made me get out of bed in the morning.
the morning routine just works for me because I have ritalin after I eat so I don't get distracted mid-workout. (before I used to quit my workout half way through because I found something interesting to focus on or I started daydreaming) I cant take ritalin after work because it'll keep me up all night.
so on the weekend I did 2 workout videos per day to make up for not exercising the rest of the week. I was really happy, but this week I've just felt like a lazy sloth.
I want to eat EVERYTHING, all the time. the past 2 weeks I just want a bucket of fries, pizza, lots of rice or pasta or whatever it's like I want one of everything and I want to eat it till I explode. Today I didnt wake up early enough to make breakfast and my workplace has parathas for breakfast so i ordered one. I dont like parathas, I never have. I can have them from time to time if they're stuffed but usually I hate them. I not only had one yesterday but I had it today too, and I hated it. I reminded myself to not finish it because I knew eating it made me feel like crap. After that I didnt have lunch even though I had time to because I felt gross.
Yesterday my sister got pizza and it wasn't pizza that I liked, but I still had 2 slices. I wanted to have more like again as many as I can but I reminded myself I wasn't hungry and I didnt like the food I was eating.
Idk what's wrong. Idk why I feel this way and I'm really scared I'll start binge eating again. I'm trying not to self-sabotage so I do stop myself, but I'm afraid I'll undo all my progress especially because I'm not exercising. I told myself to use the stationary bike after work even if I don't do strength training but I dont want to do anything at all at home. I just want to be in bed and be left alone. Maybe my depression has gotten worse.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/17xbqjg/worried_ill_start_binge_eating_again_venting/
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