I had a Twinkie for the first time in a year the other day. I was so hopeful that as soon as it touched my mouth I would be disgusted by it.
Nope. It just tasted like pleasant sweetness, like I remember it. I lost 50 pounds, but it was so hard, my efforts are stalling, I'm miserable all the time, and I just want it to be over. Therapy hasn't helped, I feel so doomed and trapped and just so hopeless that I'll ever get better. I just don't get what's wrong with me, I feel like I'm backsliding and I don't know how to stop it. God fucking damn it. If I have to eat one more plate of cauliflower and broccoli I'm going to actually lose my mind.
I miss all my favorite foods, man. I miss french fries, I miss cake, I've been fully off the stuff for weeks and the cravings for it NEVER subside. It's a constant, unrelenting demand for it. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else feels this way.
And yes. I keep my space clean, I have a creative outlet, and I eat... reasonably healthy? Honestly I can't even keep track of what is and isn't healthy anymore, I just get 200+g protein daily and stay in a 250cal deficit, and I'm still miserable.
God I hate how much of a little bitch I am that I just can't suck it up and keep going.
Edit: the Twinkie incident was a couple of weeks ago.
Today's food:
PB&J sandwich with a glass of skim milk: 560 cal
A protein mug cake made with whey powder, 2 eggs, a chocolate bar, and baking powder. (Made with a cup in the microwave) (400 cal)
Cheese pizza, 2 single serve slices (700 cal)
An energy drink (10 cal)
Yogurt (160 cal)
Cottage cheese (200 cal)
Calorie count may not be 100% accurate, but it's close enough for an idea for you guys.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/16ne2ee/been_over_a_year_and_cravings_arent_gone/
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