TW: menstrual cycles and unsafe neighborhoods? I’m not sure how to CW this.
Anyways, here we go.
Over a year ago I posted here that I was starting my weight loss journey, and I had done really well! I had gotten down to a number I hadn’t seen in some time and was quite excited.
Well, some unfortunate life updates. I moved across the country and was unemployed for some time. My family began going through some severe drama and trauma, and finally got a job I have come to dislike in an incredibly unsafe town.
I’d been feeling heavier for a while, and I’ve started doing yoga 5x a week (not much but enough to feel good) and I’ve begun running and weight lifting again. I finally bought a scale.
I stepped on the scale tonight and — I’m trying to comfort myself with several things. 1) I checked it at night after I’ve eaten everything, which I never did before, and that was stupid; 2) (potentially tmi, sorry) but I’m on my period so that’s always impacting things and 3) I was on my feet all day and it was hot so everything feels swollen. — that in mind though, if what the scale says is true, I’m heavier than I’ve ever been.
It kills me. And I also realize just how privileged I’ve been living wise this far and truly how living in a safe town makes all the difference. In my last city I regularly walked 15+ miles once or twice a weekend and walked all the time during the week because I love to walk and it was such a walkable city. Before that, I lived in small safe towns, and other walkable cities.
Now I live in a city I feel VERY unsafe in. Someone got shot and killed outside my apartment a couple months ago, and there are gunshots all the time. people are always breaking into my complex. I live close enough to public transit that it’d be a bit of a walk and then public transit would get me to my work. However, last time I tried to walk to the train station I was chased four blocks by some guy, and I was only safe when I ran into a church on the corner. Now I drive to work only. I go on walks and hikes when I can, but I have to drive out of my area to get there, and it’s crushing my spirit.
And now I’m heavier than I’ve ever been. And I’m really sad.
Im going to keep trying to make these positive changes. Keep working out. I’m also looking for a new job and won’t be redoing my lease here. I’ve also started seeing a therapist, so i know im making a lot of positive steps, but this was kind of a sad blow.
Anyway, so I wanted to hop on here and kind of just — if anyone else feels like this, you’re not alone. And it’s okay to admit youve fallen off the horse and need to get back on. I know that’s where I am.
My goal is to get back to where I was. It’s a good start goal I think? We’ll see.
So here’s to trying yet again! Maybe this time it’ll stick.
edited for clarity and to depersonalize some aspects
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/15wxgln/well_were_back_where_we_started/
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