I'm going to provide some background info right here. As much as I'm looking for advice, I also just need to air some things out.If it's a waste of time for y'all, the main point of this point will be marked below with "•"
Basically I've spent my life being a bigger guy. I'm not the tallest either so that may things a little bit harder on me and I always felt uncomfortable with my appearance. I always overate from a young age, I'd say about 10 or 11 years old. Even then when I was younger I understood that it was an issue when I tried everything in order to make myself look more ideal. I couldn't quantify the number of cringey abs in 6 minutes videos I probably watched over the years.
Despite my issues with my weight I've been able to do things that I hadn't thought possible considering where I grew up. In high school I developed a lot of self-confidence based off of weightlifting and football. Though this allowed my weight to stagnate for a while, my eating habits remained the same. I developed a lot of confidence and worked on my craft for my sport to the point to where I was a stand out prospect in the area.
The past two years of my life specifically have been a bunch of trials and tribulations and with the exclusion on my weight issues I've conquered them all. I had a life-threatening medical issue which was supposed to completely derail my athletic career and stop me from ever playing again. As a matter of fact I was able to fully recover in a far shorter time period than what is expected.
At my position, I am of a shorter stature than what is typical and my town is not known for producing collegic athletes. That said, I was highly recruited and I'm going to be attending what I consider to be my dream school this fall as well as playing for them.
Considering some of the things I've described while leaving out some of the others. I've been extremely proud of myself for the ability to overcome things whenever life gets hard. Yet, when faced with issues with my weight and lack of willpower and discipline, I've folded like a flimsy House of cards.
• I'm quickly losing control of everything. My car is a grizzly sight of fast food bags, with me adding another to the collection every work day. The two things on my cup holders are both m&m McFlurries from McDonald's. Though I do have a muscular frame, I'm developing a pretty large gut. I'm constantly out of breath now and I fear that sooner than later everyday tasks are going to become going to become significantly more difficult.
Truth be told, I'm 100% aware of what I need to do in order to lose weight. Yet I lack both the discipline and The willpower to do it. I know about calories in, calories out, I know basic nutritional advice, I know about every way of fasting, every diet. I just can't seem to apply myself and conquer this final thing which is quickly becoming a large obstacle on my journey to achieve my dreams.
I was recently watching a documentary about an athlete that was dealing with drug abuse. His former wife explained that she didn't blame him because he didn't wake up in the morning and decide he was going to be a drug addict that day. She said that "in the mornings he vowed to change." I've now had to come to terms with the ugly truth of the matter. my relationship with food which I always knew to be unhealthy is a brutal cycle of addiction. Whether it be the sodium or sugars or the added ingredients that are in everything these days. I can't seem to kick it and if I were able to finally correct this I feel as though a great weight both figuratively and literally would be lifted off my shoulders.
I want to be the best man I possibly can be. After dealing with my medical issue, a lot of things were put into perspective and the value of life was one of them. I want to lead a good life and I want to have no regrets. I know one way or another, if I cannot correct my eating habits I will forever regret it for the rest of my life.
So please, if you have any advice or would like to share likewise stories, I'd appreciate it. Any comments would mean the most to me.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/15avi3s/300_pounds_on_the_verge_of_losing_everything_ive/
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