26 M / 5'4.7" (164.5 cm) / SW: 89.3 kg (33 BMI), CW: 69.9 kg (25.8 BMI), GW: 65.0 kg (24 BMI)
I don't know if this is a being fat issue or a social anxiety issue as I'm experiencing both... but I can't bring myself to go out on walks at all. The idea of walking out there in the sun where everyone can see me terrifies me.
I've actually lost a lot of weight already (almost 20 kg) and I'm only a few kilos away from being categorically considered to be at a "healthy weight" (my BMI right now is 25.8 but I'm aiming for 24), but my body dysmorphia is still as strong as ever. Despite going down from Obese to Overweight since November 2022 and now being only 2.3 kg away from Normal, I still feel like some kind of a grotesque monster in everyone else's eyes.
I really, really want to go outside, it's one of the main reasons why I wanted to lose weight to begin with... it annoyed me that I had wasted so many summers stuck indoors because I didn't wanna be sweaty and uncomfortable outside. I wanted 2023 to be different.
But here I am, hyping myself up for hours to try and walk out of the door to enjoy the sunlight, and I just can't. Sometimes it gets so bad that I can't even bring myself to go shopping and have to resort to having my groceries delivered.
If I'm not hyperfixating on my remaining fatness, it's always something else that's equally dumb. Does my hair look weird today? Can people see that I'm balding? Is my body shaped weird? Is my head too big? Are my clothes weird? Are my sunglasses comically big for my face? Do I look like a creep? Am I making others uncomfortable by just being seen by them? My thoughts can very easily spiral out of control at which point it becomes impossible for me to go outside, after which I just pull the curtains shut and lay in bed the whole day.
Anyone else experienced this? Any advice (other than "just don't care what other people think"; that doesn't work for me)?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/13wgw2x/afraid_to_go_outside_for_walks_anyone_else/
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