Stats: 34 year old female, 5'5", HW: 360 CW: 290 GW: 120
New here. I can't remember the exact year I started at my HW...maybe the middle of 2020? Anyway, I hit the gym and counted calories and got to around 240 by May 2022. Then I started my research abroad for my PhD program, and it all went to hell.
My main strategy for losing weight was focused on following a rigid routine. This isn't really the sort of thing that sets me up for failure -- I've found that following a strict daily schedule (at least during the week, I'm a little more flexible on weekends) is key to helping me manage my severe depression/anxiety. The routine makes me feel better and actually makes it less likely for me to overeat due to mood swings.
Enter life abroad. I was super stressed at being in a new place with no support and no idea what to do with myself. To make things worse, due to insurance mess-ups I ended up having to go off 2 of my 4 antidepressants cold turkey. Everything was a nightmare. I'd maybe summon up the urge to do research twice a week, and on those days I'd get my food. All total garbage, prepackaged junk and frozen stuff, and I'd eat loads of it then go days without eating bc depression, rinse and repeat for the last 6 Mos.
I forced myself back on the scale last week. I'd been making efforts to get my life back, so I figured my weight wouldn't be as bad as it had been in the thick of things, and it was time for me to know where I was at. Mainly because I have to get back on a plane at the end of June, and I remember how horrible that experience was at 240. I was hoping I'd only gone up to 280. Nope. 295.
So, I've done the best I can to try to create a schedule and routine as similar to what I did back home. It's not easy. My agoraphobia is rough atm, so going out to exercise is a no-go. So I end up just doing 10k-15k steps pacing indoors. Food-wise, I think I've found a tolerable daily menu that I can repeat indefinitely. (That was what I did before--I basically ate the exact same thing every day for months, save for maybe going out/over to friends every other week or so.) The menu is:
Breakfast: Banana, instant 3 in 1 coffee packet Lunch: Apple, either 0 fat skyr yogurt w/added protein or two scrambled eggs from the microwave because I hate using the stove top Dinner: Oven baked/roasted zucchini and chicken
This comes out to ~1000 calories. Too low, I know. But I don't know what other safe/repeatable foods that don't require cooking on a stove top I can add. I'm not ever really hungry on this amount (years of restricting and binging has murdered my hunger signals), and not feeling any urges to overeat...I came to the conclusion recently that I don't even like food, nothing tastes particularly good, so why bother eating calorie dense stuff? Any recommendations on what basic ingredient foods I can add? Just larger portions maybe? I'm currently in Serbia, so there aren't a lot of healthy options as far as ready-made food, so I'm sticking to minimally processed basics.
...admittedly, part of me is also fine with 1000 cals. I've restricted at 500/day before, so this feels...not so terrible. But I know my mind is effed up when it comes to nutrition. I'm planning on raising it to 1200-1500 once I get back to the States and can hit the gym again like I used to (1-2 hrs a day, every day...again, my routine obsession). But a lot of me wants to just stay at 1000 to lose as much as possible before getting on the plane, so maybe I have a sliver of a better chance of not spending the whole 10hrs on the brink of tears from shame/embrassment.
Sorry for the novel...long story short, two pieces of advice: what should I add to my diet to maybe bring me up to 1200? I think I can tolerate that. Also...does this whole saga sound like usual diet nonsense, or should I be thinking of broaching the topic of disordered eating with my therapist? Just would like the perspective of others who've dieter without ending up on that path.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/123f725/trying_to_regain_lost_ground_tw_potential_ed_talk/
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