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I finally woke up, and I don't like it.

I, 25F, am obese.

I knew that. I logically know what will help it. I logically know that it is my fault and that I am ruining my moment.

However, I'm an emotionally driven person.

I am short (5ft/60cm). I used to climb everything, having a tall husband negated that need for a while. Well, I needed to climb and...I couldn't.

I was in so much pain. My wrists couldn't hold my weight and my knees buckled. I couldn't even bend over without holding my breath. I panicked, hard, about my situation.

I finally realize that I am truly fat. This isn't vanity or low self-esteem. This is the truth and I came to it emotionally. Before this, my brain would think I was smaller than I was at times.

In the mirror, I finally took it all in. The stretch marks, the redness, my swollen hands and feet, my lack of a chin. When I went to put on shoes I couldn't reach my feet or I had to hold my breath and strain. I'm still freaking out inside that I let it get this bad!

I have nobody to blame but myself. I am scared, but too paralyzed to cry.

submitted by /u/panictolovers
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/121eeq4/i_finally_woke_up_and_i_dont_like_it/

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