I’m a 15 year old Female, I have been off and on for about 2 years now trying so hard to lose weight. In 2020 I departed with one of my best friends because she was toxic and I needed her out of my life. After that I was left with only 2 friends, who both have ED’s (they both told me). The fact that these types of people were the only people I surrounded myself with made my mindset around food change. Because both of my friends were eating so little I thought of that as the new normal. I’m not blaming them for any of my problems but it is just important for explaining my story. when i first found out one of my friends had an ED I asked her what is was and then she explained to me. That night, I googled all about eating disorders to try to help my friend get better. After that it all just kind of snowballed and i learned basicaly everything there is too know about eating disorders. After I found out all of this, I realised that I was a bit jealous of my friend for losing weight so fast and I kind of wanted to try it. (I am not, in any way, promoting ED’s. Please don’t try to starve yourself, it can be lethal) I tried counting calories, fasting, exercising, starving, purging, and chugging litres of water. I mostly tried calorie counting and starving though. I used to make notes of rules i have to follow, but I would never actually follow through, I don’t think I have the willpower. Every time I tried again and again, I would fail and ultimately binge. After I binge I would look at images of people who have my dream body and try and motivate myself to achieve that the next day. Thinking back, all I ever thought about was food, it was always on my mind and it still is until this day. More recently though, I have been trying to just eat whatever I want without any restrictions in hopes to break the restrict- binge cycle. It hasn’t worked so far and has actually make me gain 2 kgs. How can I moderate my portions (without counting calories) and still have a healthy mindset towards food?
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/124gyuq/i_cant_stop_eating/
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