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Suitcases full of bad memories

I'm 24F 158cm height and weigh 73kg now. My weight gain journey was very slow and crept up on me around High school. When I started college i realised some clothes didn't fit me right, so i put them in a bag to wear them when I lost 3-5 kg. But i never did it because I would lose motivation in a week. That bag turned into a suitcase during my final year in college. Now I just realised I have 3 full suitcases filled with clothes( some with tags), that don't fit me. Initially those clothes were meant for motivation, then it started becoming part of the problem. I don't want to get into the ups and downs of the years of mental anguish i went through every time I had to add clothes to it.

Since this year started, i have once again started working to lose weight. If my many weight trackers are correct, then i am for the first time making some progress. Lately it doesn't feel that way, but I'm trying to be more positive. One thing I decided to do is donate 60% of the suitcase clothes. Most of them are hardly worn. It feels so much better to get rid of those clothes. Most of them, i wouldn't even wear it if I could, my tastes have changed. But it's still hard to think about how much money i spent on it, just for it to end up locked away.

I still have a whole suitcase filled with clothes, but i just couldn't part with it, atleast for now. While going through the clothes i realised I knew when I got each piece and why it ended up there. It was so weird to realise how much information about these clothes were just clogging up my mind.

This time around, i am trying to do things differently. I am seeing a therapist for my eating disorder and unhealthy views on losing weight. I will not give up foods i like, because I know i will definitely binge if I do. I struggle with portion control and consistency, but that's years of unhealthy habits to unpack. And mostly i am counting my calories even if it hurts to see.

This rant was something i debated whether or not to post. I've been reading other people's posts here and just wanted to do so myself. Also I'd like to know other non-food habits or steps to take to improve our mindset to lose weight.

submitted by /u/0Light_Bulb
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/11e2p00/suitcases_full_of_bad_memories/

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