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How to deal with backlash from people who say you're already fine as you are?

I'm on the high end of normal, but I'm not as active as I'd like to be, and I feel so out of shape.

When I used to exercise a lot more, I felt a lot better, but I was heavily criticized by people around me. Same goes for when I was just thinner overall. It's really gotten to me, to the point where even though I'm not around those people anymore, part of me believes that being as fit as I want is "wrong." For example, one ex kept telling me I was "too skinny" when I was 5'5 130lbs, which is... objectively wrong. I know he just felt insecure because he didn't think he was hot enough to date me.

I'm 145lb now and I look OK. Even my doctor mentioned how I'm "so thin" at two different appointments, months apart. It was in the context of getting a medical procedure, so I think she just meant I wasn't at risk the same way someone obese would be, though she didn't say that. It still really got in my head. Like, if I'm so thin at 145, am I doing something wrong if I want to be 125?

Even though it feels better physically to be thinner, emotionally I feel shame. Like, I'm somehow hurting myself. I also feel guilty knowing I'm some people's "goal weight."

I know I don't even have it as bad as some people, but how did you deal with the judgment internally? As in, not what to say to them, but how do you feel like it's OK to be as fit as you want to be?

submitted by /u/Vegetable-Case-8047
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/zwa0ux/how_to_deal_with_backlash_from_people_who_say/

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