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I’m tired of feeling nothing

SW: 232.4lb CW: 201lb GW: 175lb

I have been on my weight loss journey for a little over a year now, but I am at a point where I’m struggling to keep moving forward. I lost 32lb, reached 200lb after five years, went down a size, and gained muscle but for some reason I don’t feel proud of myself.

Actually, I feel nothing in regards to my progress. I gather it’s because I am not where I envision myself, but how do I make this process more exciting? It’s super disheartening because I see so many posts of people celebrating NSV and learning to accept themselves, but I’m missing that positivity in this process.

This mindset has been detrimental to my growth. I’ve been caving into cravings more than usual and less consistent in the gym. Thankfully, it hasn’t hindered me much since I am in the process of reevaluating my approaches after hitting my first plateau. I’ve been stuck between fluctuating the same 2lb for two months. It hasn’t brought me down since I know I’m capable, but my mind refuses to acknowledge the hard work I’ve put in so far.

I don’t hate my body like I used to. I am aware I am responsible for my body and health. I am accepting that my body is going through changes with my new lifestyle choice since to hate something that is actively changing is ridiculous. Yet, I still cannot comprehend how far I’ve come. I’m tired of my mind not seeing my strength.

I want to feel proud of myself. I want to celebrate myself. I want to wholeheartedly and unapologetically love myself.

I want to stop visualizing my future self and celebrating her. Instead I want feel something for current myself other than indifference.

submitted by /u/brandimav
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/yafmlk/im_tired_of_feeling_nothing/

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