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520lbs to 320lbs in 20 months. Life ramblings...

M/35/6'0''
520lbs ->320lbs
Goal Weight: 220lbs

I do CICO, IF and low carb/keto. I cut out most sugars, most junk food and I try to eat processed food as little as possible. I try to do at least 30 minutes every night on my incline treadmill, followed by a light weight training routine. I'm on my way to my goal, I know I can do it, especially with the motivation I have.

Progress pictures! (mostly face gains)

Not sure why I feel compelled to write anything as I'm generally a private/shy person but I've seen many threads here that are inspirational and reminds us that we aren't alone in our struggles.

I've struggled my whole life with being obese from a very early age that stemmed from stress eating. I came from a broken home and ate a lot to cope, I was unsupervised a lot, eating in anticipation of being nervous around a physically and emotionally abusive father and a strung out mother. I was poor and as you can imagine I ate a lot of junk food, I overindulged often at my grandparents on the weekend because they always spoiled me and they never said no. I don't blame them but I was just a child and it led to a lot of bad habits leading into my teens and eventually into adulthood. I was always the biggest kid at any school I ever went to, I was bullied constantly, mostly verbally but I often let my anger turn into physical violence. I became so withdrawn from everything that eventually I just didn't want to be around people, I ditched high school to the point that I didn't even know half of my teacher's names. Thankfully there was a program in my city that allowed troubled youth to meet with a teacher one on one once a week and you did all your work from home, I was still able to graduate high school. I was still stuck in a really shitty living environment surrounded by drug addicts and low lifes. By the time I was 18 I had moved over 20 times, I never had stability and eventually ended up living with my grandparents. I was depressed and extremely resentful of my parents, I often blamed all my problems on them and I let it eat away at me. My grandpa passed and I was so angry all the time and then my father passed, even though he was a piece of shit it still had a huge impact on me. I became socially withdrawn, things I enjoyed were no longer fun, there were points where I didn't leave the house for months and maybe even years at a time. I did a few work from home jobs and since I really didn't have any bills living with my grandmother I just cruised through a big portion of my life. I didn't make a lot of money but I made enough to be content with what I had and I didn't really care for anything, I had no interest in going out with friends, didn't want to pursue girls and just thought that would be my life forever, dying at a young age. I was so isolated that I eventually became agoraphobic, I would get physically ill if I had to leave my house. I became socially awkward...even to extended family. I was terrified of leaving the house, often even just toughing out medical issues because the thought of dying was better than having to go to the hospital. I lost hearing in one ear from letting an infection fester when a simple trip to the ER would have cleared it right up with antibiotics. My biggest regret was not going to my best friends wedding because I was too scared to leave the comfort of my own home, I gave him some really lame excuse that I was sick when in reality I was at home playing video games and binging on food.

Year after year went by like this, eventually I was over 500lbs. My only social interactions were with friends I met online and I kept up a pretty good façade of being just a normal guy, I lost myself in video games and online culture. I had a really close female friend that I played games with often, eventually I started getting feelings for her. It became too much, I was so infatuated with her to the point it pained me being around her. I would disappear for weeks at a time because I thought the feeling would eventually pass, I didn't think anyone would want to be in a relationship with someone like me and I was full of self pity. Once I realized my feelings weren't subsiding I gathered up the courage and sent her an email explaining my absence and confessing my feelings for her. She sent me back a really sweet message and had told me the feelings were mutual. For the first time something good had happened to me, I felt a bit of happiness that I've never experienced before in my life. I started getting motivated, I knew I needed to start taking my health seriously and that pushed me to start my weight loss journey. I was in love, something completely alien to me but she is amazing. The more I got to know her, the closer we became as we shared a lot of similar struggles regarding weight and being self-conscious. At that point we had no idea what the other person looked like and we decided to exchange pictures. She is beautiful and I remember blushing like crazy looking through the pictures she sent me, I was intimidated and also terrified that she wouldn't find me attractive. We've been in a long distance relationship coming up on two years and plan on meeting for the first time in a few months, she's amazing, she's my best friend and I've never felt judged by her. We motivate each other, she's perfect and I genuinely feel as if she saved my life.

Thank you for listening to my ramblings, I'm not sure why I decided to tell my story but it feels good, I'm happy and I hope you find your inspiration as well, whatever or whomever it may be.

submitted by /u/bigyellowpato
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/x28srl/520lbs_to_320lbs_in_20_months_life_ramblings/

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