Yesterday, I was supposed to be celebrating 1 year of being alcohol free, and coincidently achieved reaching a BMI of 24.8 at the same time for a total of 70lbs lost to date. I'm 5'2 F SW 205lbs, CW135lbs. It turned out to be the worst, most stressful day at work I've had for a long time. My job is very responsible, and without going into too much detail, I'm a professional, run my own branch and the buck stops at me.
I quit alcohol because I'd become dependant on it. I'd self soothe with it to the point I couldn't face day to day life without relying on alcohol to help me cope. This went on for 10 years, over which time it directly and indirectly (by way of poor food and lifestyle choices) made me gain 80lbs. If I was stressed, I'd turn to alcohol. Now I don't do that, in fact alcohol isn't even a factor that has any part of my life anymore. My partner always has beers, gin and vodka in the house, but it's a non entity in my life. I wasn't addicted, I was dependant.
But now, I've begun coping with stress in old ways pre-drinking era. I don't eat. I feel physically unable. I feel this overwhelming necessity to 'burn off' the tension. I've pushed my exercise to stupid this week but my average daily cals have dropped to 1000. I ate dinner last night - fish and veggies, and had to force a protein bar just to get to 800 calories, all after going for an hour swim before working all day with this stress and not eating. Yet despite this, I woke up at 4am, restless, pacing. Decided to go for a 5mile walk before work.
I see so many posts of people who turn to food when they get stressed, but never really any from people who can't eat when stressed, or feel the way I do. I'm happy I'm not turning to alcohol, 100%, but this method of coping made me very ill and depressed in my 20's. I don't want to fall back into that way of coping, but on the day I was supposed to be celebrating, I broke down in tears. I thought I had my shit together, I really did
[link] [comments]
from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/uyrqcp/milestones_achieved_but_stress_is_causing_old/
Comments
Post a Comment