hi everyone! sorry for clogging up the subreddit but I’m really frustrated by this and just need to rant somewhere.
so most of the year I live by myself because I go to uni away from home but I came back for a few weeks for winter break recently and at first it was okay. I always dread coming home not only because of the atmosphere in the house but also because there’s always snacks that trigger me to binge around - when I’m away I just never buy them and everything goes fine, but my mum keeps 3-4 packs in my room, on my desk at all times, because she kind of took over my room when I was away. and that’s fine, really, I can stop myself from opening someone else’s food, but then I spend hours at the desk, studying, and she just leaves the snacks open right by my side and 20 minutes later, whoops, it’s empty! I know it’s a me problem, but is it unreasonable of me to ask her to just put her opened food in a cupboard? she knows it’s an issue for me, she’s made fun of me for it multiple times.
then it was my birthday last sunday and I had a couple of friends over and I baked some cinnamon rolls and chocolate chip cookies for them, because everyone likes those and I haven’t had any in months, and calories don’t exist on your birthday, right? and honestly I didn’t even eat that much while they were over, but then they left and I ate all the remaining cookies (at least 30) in like 20 minutes, and oh, lord. I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older, or what, but in all of my 22 years of having the biggest sweet tooth ever, I have never felt as sick from all the sugar I ate - I easily smashed 3.2k kcal that day, so twice my maintenance, but whatever. I thought I would just eat less the following week and it would be fine.
it was not fine. on Wednesday I had another sugar binge, and then another one yesterday (okay that’s mostly because my parents brought my favourite cookies home and I ate like 8 thinking they were 50 kcal each - I checked today and they’re more like 90, so that’s 320kcal extra just because I was too lazy to check. today’s gonna be tough too because the whole family is coming to celebrate my birthday and mum’s been cooking since 7 in the morning and I know one of the things she’s preparing is an oreo cheesecake…. I’m currently debating with myself whether it’s worth it, because it sounds delicious to my sugar addicted brain, but on the other hand my body feels absolutely awful from all the sugar I’ve consumed this week (and I still can’t stop! damn you, sugar!) honestly I’m just glad I’m going back to uni tomorrow at this point…
and yeah the rational part of my brain knows that it’s probably not that serious and I can just cut calories next week, but I’ve been maintaining since last june (yay!) and the thought of having to change my routine is a little stressful (it’s a mental thing, please don’t judge me)
okay rant end sorry it’s so long and pointless, but I genuinely do feel better after getting it off my chest lol hope you’re all having a blessed day
EDIT: forgot to add my stats idk if it’s required but I’m F22 (cries) and around 128lbs/58kg (SW 196lbs/89kg)
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/t1tay5/fell_off_the_wagon_for_a_week_rant/
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