In terms of food and my body, I’ve been at many extremes. When I was in school, I went through a stage of restricting to 500 calories a day as I had a skinny friend who I would ‘compete’ with. I’ve been through a phase of throwing up anything I ate at all, and I’ve been through a pretty severe binge eating phase. This binge eating phase has taken me from 135lbs to 285lbs (I’m 5’6” 22F). I’m recently engaged and I know I won’t be happy at my wedding how I look now, plus I want to start my marriage being healthy as I hope to have children one day and just really want to be around for a long time to be honest.
I have struggled with self esteem issues, mental health issues and pretty disordered eating for as long as I can remember. With all this combined, I just don’t know where to start. During this year I had a 3 month period where I ate under 1700 calories every day and was so determined and somehow it just stopped, I have no idea why but I woke up one day and just couldn’t get back into that mindset again. It’s pretty soul-destroying and after many attempts like this my brain is constantly just expecting failure, it’s like a self-fulfilling prophesy at this point.
If anyones been through anything similar, I’d really appreciate some advice on how to get started, as I struggle every single day feeling so self conscious. Sometimes I can’t even bring myself to go outside due to how I look. I just want to be healthy.
tldr: I’m obese and have always had disordered eating. I now have no idea how to start a healthy, sustainable weight loss journey and need help.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/rr79z9/terrified_of_the_weight_loss_process/
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