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I'm at my breaking point and I need advice

Not sure if this needs a CW but just in case: I mention eating disorders and body image issues

I (24 F) have been steadily gaining weight for a few years (from around 145lbs) and I'm now 200 lbs and 5'1" despite putting in effort to lead a healthy lifestyle. I go to the gym 3 times a week and do cardio+weight training and I drink a LOT of water. On days that I'm not at the gym, I go on 30-45 minute walks at a brisk pace. As far as diet, it's definitely not as good as it could be but it's not bad enough that I would think I'd be gaining this much weight. I don't drink soda and I'll have a fancy coffee like once a month, I eat out like once every two weeks and I try to cook at home + incorporate protein and veggies into my diet. I drink hot tea every morning, usually green tea. I've had this routine for probably a year. Some weeks I will have a bad week and eat less healthy but I usually hop right back on to eating pretty well.

I know it's calories in calories out, but according to my estimates I have an average calorie deficit of like 300-500 calories a day, yet all I see is my weight going up. I have some muscle, but I am very chubby and not happy with the way I look. I've been advised by my therapist not to strictly count calories as I have a history of BED when I was younger and it tends to trigger me. When I was like 18 or 19 I had a few months where I only ate like 400-500 calories a day because I was determined to lose weight (terrible idea). I lost some weight but quickly gained it back. I don't know much about metabolisms but I often wonder if that slowed mine permanently 🥲

I had my thyroid checked and my TSH and T3 are normal but my T4 is low, but my doctor said as long as the TSH is normal that I'm fine, though I've heard otherwise online. She set me up with a nutritionist but I have to wait for 2 months to get in, and at this rate, I'm scared to think of how much weight I will have potentially gained by then.

At this point I am so devastated with the way I look and feel, and it feels like nothing is working. I've tried weight watchers, fad diets, cleanses, keto, you name it. I've tried living a healthy lifestyle. I don't know what to do. Does anyone have advice or ideas on what could be causing my weight gain and how to lose weight in a healthy way? I've struggled with severe anxiety my whole life and I've heard excess cortisol can cause weight gain... I just have no idea at this point, and I feel like giving up.

submitted by /u/forbidden_nog
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/r4r1zx/im_at_my_breaking_point_and_i_need_advice/

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