Hello. Just found this sub. Nice to meet you.
Like many others I am struggling with my weight, and I just want to tell my story and vent a little.
I am a 35 year old male. I'm around 170cm tall and I weigh approximately 120kg. I don't know my exact height and I haven't weighed myself in a while so that is just an estimate (I will weigh myself tonight).
I have hypothyroidism and sleep apnea. I'm on Levothyroxine for the hypothyroidism and I have a CPAP machine for the sleep apnea. I'm also on Sertraline for anxiety and depression.
I'm an emotional eater and I have struggled with my mental health for as long as I can remember.
I have a son and until recently I was taking care of him every weekend (it is now every other weekend). Prior to 2020 this meant I was travelling back to my hometown every weekend to care for him.
Between 2018 and 2020 I counted calories with some success. I lost weight and managed to get under 100kg, but periodically I would just put the weight back on and erase all of my progress. This was upsetting, and as an emotional eater it became harder and harder to keep my diet under control. Then 2020 happened.
A lot of things happened all at once. My living arrangements fell apart and I was forced to resign from my job and move back to my hometown and live with my mother. I was hoping to find a new job and somewhere to live fairly quickly but then the pandemic happened and I was stuck living with my mother for about 5 months. My relationship with my mother is complicated to say the least so this wasn't ideal.
I eventually found a room in a shared house. At first it seemed okay but as time went on I hated it more and more. The rent was cheap but whole house was filthy and it stank of cigarette smoke, and I didn't really like my housemates. My mental health took a nosedive.
I then found a new job working in the head office of a big retailer working full time hours Monday to Friday.
My mental health was getting really bad so I reached out to my doctor and I was prescribed the Sertaline.
Eventually I managed to move in to my own apartment, and I love having my own space, but I am now living paycheck to paycheck and it is really stressful.
I have also become unhappy with my job because I have grown to dislike the company I work for. The company doesn't value its employees and turnover is really high. The company does the bare minimum to comply with employment & labour laws and offers employees nothing else. I have started looking for work elsewhere.
Every working day I leave the house at 07:15 and don’t get home until around 18:45 (or later sometimes), so each day I spend a minimum of 11.5 hours at work and commuting (nearly 60 hours a week). When I get home, I struggle to find the energy to cook dinner and shower. I don’t even have the energy to put time into my hobbies.
I am mentally and emotionally exhausted, which makes me want to eat! Then I eat and I feel awful for overeating, which makes me want to eat more tasty things!
I don't like gyms. I don't have the energy to work out. I hate sweating (I sweat excessively from my head and face). The few hours of free time I get are precious to me and I want to spend them doing things I enjoy, but due to having no energy left after work I usually end up just watching YouTube or binging on some TV show.
People have suggested I go for walks, and this is a good idea, but you have to factor in that the terrain of my hometown is very uneven. There are hills and valleys everywhere and the weather is very unpredictable (UK). Also I don't really like leaving my apartment unless I have somewhere to be or an objective in mind. These things + low energy levels = I stay home.
I had chinese last night. Today I feel awful. I am bloated. My trousers feel so tight around my waist and I hate it. Something needs to change. I need to do better. I want to do better. I will do better.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/pxtjoj/struggling/
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