The summer before my sophomore year of high school (I am now 22) I started to use food to cope with my emotions as I was deeply struggling with depression and anxiety. As the depression and anxiety went away, the binge eating didn't.
Until today I truly didn't understand that I was using food as a coping mechanism for whatever negative emotion I was feeling. I didn't even realize I was feeling negative emotions. Today was different. I journaled as a way to distract myself from the desire to binge, and in doing so accidentally spent almost an hour actually working through everything I was feeling. I don't remember the last time I allowed myself to feel this sad and anxious, instead of burying my feelings underneath food. I allowed myself to cry, and to sit with my negative emotions.
Then a crazy thing happened. I felt better. I drank some tea. I am now watching some YouTube videos that are making me smile. I can't believe that I have gone so many years without realizing that I have been burying my emotions with food. I genuinely just thought I have self control issues, and it didn't go any deeper than that. This feeling is so much better than the feeling I have while bingeing/ after a binge. There's no guilt. I feel peaceful, almost. I just honestly can't believe it.
I know this might seem ridiculous and obvious to some people but I hope that sharing this maybe someone else can come to the same realization I just did. I hope I am able to make these same decisions in the future, and hopefully can stop bingeing forever.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/gb9ej1/today_i_felt_my_emotions_instead_of_bingeing_for/
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