I’m sure lots of people are having the same resolution as mine, but to me, this resolution means a lot.
I’ve always been self-conscious about my weight. As a child, I was never at a normal weight. My heaviest being 192 at just 12 years old. During that time I was, and still am, 5’2.
When I entered high school, I developed an eating disorder. I was never diagnosed because I hid it from my family, but I now recognize what it was. I counted calories religiously. I only ate 500 calories or less a day, and exercised vigorously at least 1 hour every day with no rest (sometimes 2 hours). I dropped 70 pounds in 6 months this way.
There were days where I was literally starving. I always had a headache, and sometimes my hands would tremble. I continued these same restrictions up until I entered college. My new bf (now fiance) noticed how poorly I was eating and practically coached me into eating more. I was hesitant at first, but I followed his word and started eating normally. I gained a few pounds but I was finally healthy.
The stress from college, and the grief I am currently under after my father passed away, has caused me to gain all the weight I lost. I went from having anorexic tendencies to binge eating whenever I experienced any emotional disdain. In the last 2 years I gained back 70 pounds.
Not only has it put a strain on my confidence, but my relationship. My fiancé loves me just the same, but my lack of confidence has effected my mood for intimacy. I just think about the way I look and immediately get put off. He says he isn’t bothered by this but I know it may be effecting him in some way.
My new years resolution is to get fit THE HEALTHY WAY. I don’t want to return to those unhealthy eating habits, but I also want to lose weight to gain my confidence back! This may sound cheesy: It will be hard, but 2020 is my year.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/eidzuu/new_years_resolution_tw_eating_disorder/
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