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I'm broken, tired, and uninformed as hell...but I'm ready and I need lots of help

I have always been fat. I gained a lot of weight when I was 8 after a lot of childhood trauma and have hid behind it my entire life.

I am now 28 and happily married, still very fat (I hover between 360s and 400lbs). I have half-ass attempted to lose weight but life got hard for a while and I quit all the healthy habits I had built up.

I'm at the point now where life is okay, I'm working on a lot of my emotional/mental issues and I also want to work on my physical issues. My body HURTS, I am ALWAYS tired, and I just want to FEEL better. The biggest motivation for me though? Seeing what I'm doing to my husband. When we met he was probably 140, 150lbs. Now he's over 200. I see the weight in his face and I wonder...am I doing this? Is he adopting my bad behaviours? I don't find him any less attractive but I know that if he saw me pushing to make changes, he'd probably want to as well.

I just literally...have no idea where to start. I have some (physical & non physical)disabilities and that makes straight up normal exercise HARD. I also live in a very hot and humid environment and am susceptible to heat stroke so indoor (at home preferably) is a must. I have a recumbent exercise bike but the last time I used it I suspect I pushed myself too far (couldn't walk the next day and vomited a lot throughout the night). So really...I'm just fucking stupid to how my body works and my limits and I am NOT good at ~reading my own body.

I already plan on cutting out all excess sugar/sweets and cutting way back on carbs and introducing more veggies and overall just eating LESS and on a schedule (I binge between meals) I really don't want to do calorie counting, I did that in high school and it honestly consumed me. I don't mind a general estimates but the whole "this meal has xxx calories so I have to do xxx amount of exercise to work it off" is not a healthy method for me. How do I figure out how much water I need to be drinking? How do I figure out a good amount of exercise and how often should I be exercising? Should I start out giving my body breaks in between or do I need to push through the miserable until I get used to it? Where do I learn all of these things? It's overwhelming and I really don't want to just put it off and end up not doing it because I don't know where to start.

submitted by /u/throwaway42291x
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/dbnk0x/im_broken_tired_and_uninformed_as_hellbut_im/

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