Well, /r/loseit, I did it. I've reached my goal, Including UGW. 155 lbs to 117 lbs (on a 5'3" frame, roughly 21% BF). So, 38 lbs in 24 months of my weightloss journey. Clothing sizes went down from 12/14 to 2/4 in European brands, to XXS/XS. For the curious, a small before/after collage: https://imgur.com/a/bqL5061
I'm in the best shape of my life at 30+ years, arguably (and with the help of all you wonderful people - I can't stress enough how much that this sub supported my motivation!) . I never was outright fat or overweight as a kid, but as a teen and young adult I always struggled with being "average", chubby and soft. Being just "normal" in a bad sense of the word. Not attractively plump and not slim either. Now, for the first time ever, I have a completely flat stomach. My thighs don't rub. My calves are sculpted, my arms have good muscle definition and I've a prominent jawline. I weigh less than I did in 5th grade now as a grown woman, but I have a shitton of muscle now, so I do look better than when I was 12-14 even.
I'm happy, I really am. I so wanted to achieve this goal, and I did. It was a consistent drive to this milestone. A combination of CICO/Keto/Lowcarb and weightlifting allowed me to not just drop weight in 2 years, but recomp and build muscle. And for the most part, it was a joy and breeze. I had vacations, I had surgery, that prohibited me from weightlifting for half a year... But I never really fell off the wagon hard and even when I got setbacks, I managed to bounce back. I'm proud of my results and feel so blessed in discovering weightlifting as a fitness regimen.
However, I have to be honest. The last 8-10 lbs of weightloss were achieved by maintaining a sub-1200 calorie diet (averaging at 1000 kcals daily for almost 2 months now). To ensure its all nutritious and healthy, you can probably figure out that my eating plan was very repetitive. And portion sizes were restricted enough for me to feel hungry quite often. But it worked and it worked fast. And yet, I realize that it had served its function and I need to return to normal eating.
So, here's the thing. I've reached my goal, right? I can maintain, right? I desperately want to. I don't want to develop bad habits around food, and I want to eat like a normal person. I don't think I'm under the threat of binge-eating or going totally nuts after such a restricted period, I never had binge inclinations, but I just want to start eating semi-normally again.
For me, that's counting the calories, but not obsessing over 2 grams of butter difference in prep. Eating green veggies without weighing them. Eating fruit when I feel like it. Eating a piece of chicken without subtracting the bone weight. Things like that, yeah? Having treats once in a while. Problem is, that my sedentary maintenance calories are in the range of 1400-1500. And I hadn't routinely eaten so much food since early 2018. I'm absolutely terrified - irrationally, I know - that I'll blow up if I eat 1400 and lose all my progress. This mindset terrifies me in and of itself because of that, I don't want to become as obsessive and restrictive.
Im on my Easter/May vacation now, for 2 weeks. I decided that it could be the perfect time to transition to maintenance and finally relax a bit. I already had 4 days of eating 1500 kcals (while resuming bodyweight training as I don't have access to gym during the vacation) and I. JUST. CAN'T. LET. IT. GO. I'm not relaxing, I'm constantly thinking how two weeks from now I'm weighing myself and I'm back up 10 lbs or my lower stomach starts sticking out or my thighs expand and rub together.
But I seriously don't want to have such thoughts. I want to enjoy food in actual moderation because there's no way I can be on a cut forever and retain health. There's no way I can recover my strength in the weightroom while staying in a large deficit.
I don't know... Im rambling, I know. I'm also worried that it's not just a mild obsession but a slip into a bad mentality and that too, gives me anxiety.
I just really want to hear from people who transitioned to maintenance at goal weight and some encouraging experience that proves that two weeks at maintenance won't make you gain 5 kgs of fat.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/bj8npv/i_reached_my_goal_but_maintenance_terrifies_me/
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