*this ended up being way longer than I thought. Tl/Dr at the bottom
OK so kind of an odd title but bear with me. I started losing weight in march 2018, dropped 15 fairly quickly and then took a loong break because life (work stress + terrible relationship = everything in my life kinda went to shit). I started accidentally losing weight again mid January because I got the flu and couldn't bear eating very much , so whilst not the best method to restart it did give me the hope that I hadn't just plateaued indefinitely at 167lbs.
Ive lost a fair bit since then (considering I'm only 5'3" and don't always limit to 1200 cals) and am feeling super motivated as my goal weight gets closer week by week. I was pretty consistently 155lbs most of my teenage years, which is still overweight at 5'3" but I just couldn't seem to get any lighter, and then I gained 30lbs in the last year of university by overeating to deal with family stress and uni stress. I am now back to my "original fat weight" and I'm noticing some things about myself that I forgot/have never seen before:
- I have collarbones!!! They're not super prominent but honestly I didn't see them at all for over a year and I forgot they existed. I'm excited to see how defined they will be the more weight I lose.
- I have cheekbones! I have actual bone structure in my face instead of being a round blob! Again, not super defined but it's definitely there so I can't wait to see just how chiseled they might be as I get closer to my goal.
- I literally have ribs? I sometimes hold my sides when I'm bored and although I have to squeeze a little hard since I still have a fair bit of fat to lose, I actually felt my ribs underneath it for the first time in a long time.
- I'm also seeing the return of my waist and its reminding me that I'm actually pretty close to an hourglass figure. Will definitely never be humble about my appearance when I hit my goal and that bodyshape really shines through.
- My resting heart rate, according to my fitbit, is now between the "good to very good" categories. When I was 18 and this weight it was always between "average and good" so this is very exciting news for me. I don't even really exercise, I just try my best to hit 10k steps every day and since I work an office job this means I usually walk for 35 minutes after work, get a bus home and walk a further 10 minutes to my front door instead of getting the train from the station 5 minutes from my office. I now really enjoy the walk and find it calming.
- I'm actually a decent cook. When I originally started losing weight in 2018, it was a side effect of meal prepping for the week to save money. I stopped meal prepping and stopped losing weight because I would just eat whatever. I no longer prep all my meals for the week but I now cook twice the amount of dinner and take half to work for lunch the next day. And guess what? I am no wizard in the kitchen but I am damn good at feeding myself delicious, simple and healthy meals throughout the week for an average of £20 a week (thank you, Aldi).
- I'm also actually a pretty likeable person. When I was at my heaviest I realise now that I was quite shy and not very outgoing because I thought, subconsciously, that nobody really wanted to hear from me because I was just that fat chick. Losing weight and being successful at being consistent with my lifestyle changes has reminded me that I've always been determined and enthusiastic about everything I want/like and that part of my personality is making its way back to my day to day life and being very well received. I no longer feel like I'm just taking up space and wasting people's time with my conversational attempts.
- I'm a catch and I don't need to settle for a man who's willing to put up with me because I no longer feel ugly. Before I gained weight I had confidence issues and thought that I would be lucky if a man showed me enough interest to go further than sleeping together a few times. I would worry about whether they liked me and fret that I had to prove to them I was worth spending time with. This mindset is almost definitely what led me to my very difficult relationship with my now ex boyfriend, the one I gained 30lbs in. It's amazing how now at the same weight I'm trying to decide if I even like them and making decisions based on whether I would want to see them again. Perspective, eh?
What have you (re)discovered about yourself? Be proud of it, no matter how small an accomplishment you may think it is! Losing weight is simple but not easy and it takes consistency, not perfection. Sometimes I eat too much because its a special occasion but that doesn't mean I'm a failure who should scrap it all in. Just do your best the next day. You're human and you should be proud of whatever success you've had so far, you're making a real effort to change your lifestyle and improve yourself and you're doing it all by yourself! You absolute champion!
Tl;dr: losing weight has physical payoff that I'm happy about but the real benefit is how it's changed the way I view myself and I hope its changing the way you view yourself if you haven't always been so kind to yourself.
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from loseit - Lose the Fat https://www.reddit.com/r/loseit/comments/avx269/im_rediscovering_myself/
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